tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post475897059883507708..comments2023-10-26T02:28:09.011-07:00Comments on Journeys with Jood: Obsession, or Devotion?DivaJoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02534571327558009753noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-3494581024417321542014-10-16T08:45:54.280-07:002014-10-16T08:45:54.280-07:00In "little Man", Nicole Conn mentions th...In "little Man", Nicole Conn mentions that the state of California pays for ALL of Nicholas' medical bills. So I have to wonder, if Conn had to cover those bills, would things have been different? Would she have signed a DNR? The state paying for the medical bills obviously made it easier to make this documentary.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11205839681022099986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-87096004689152446012012-02-01T14:25:31.064-08:002012-02-01T14:25:31.064-08:00Being a mother of a child who spent 3.5 months in ...Being a mother of a child who spent 3.5 months in the NICU/CVICU I can say that I personally believe God has had his hand in deciding the fate of my daughter.<br />We were told at 10 weeks Gestation that she was possibly not viable. We continued to 33 weeks when I got too large and was showing signs of rupturing.<br />It was a good thing that she was born early because there was a delay in moving patients from & she wouldn't have been moved as quickly as she was. Was the early delivery my choice?? Nope - I believe!<br />My daughters lung collapsed, an angel nurse happened to walk by when she was starting to turn blue & called a code blue while starting the rival - God's Will.<br />Her shunt snapped shut & there was a "discussion" occuring about what should happen. Our angel nurse once again was happening to walk by as her regular nurse was in shock. Why?? God's Will.<br />Believe or don't believe, that is up to you. Continue or don't continue. That is up to you.<br />Judge you should not, for you will never walk in my shoes or in the shoes of others & will never be able to truely understand.<br />This movi should be watched by EVER medical staff & family member of someone that ends up in the NICU.<br />Asking for help is difficult & sometimes the only one you can turn to is God.OneDayAtATimehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00686521399440416101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-87766435006001044662011-11-05T16:48:29.632-07:002011-11-05T16:48:29.632-07:00I agree 100% with your review of "little man....I agree 100% with your review of "little man." Thank you for saying it much more eloquently than I ever could.Studio2grlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01981041332689268881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-15770292842940369242011-07-10T18:06:32.403-07:002011-07-10T18:06:32.403-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.jazzelwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853042804168316942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-68680358095023220032008-09-26T20:27:00.000-07:002008-09-26T20:27:00.000-07:00Whoa, those are some heavy questions. I didn't re...Whoa, those are some heavy questions. I didn't read everyone else's responses yet so if I repeat someone else too bad. These are very good questions that need to be answered and if it were up to me, I would have aborted that baby. Cold hearted, cruel? No I answer, I am compassionate and not selfish. It is selfish to expect other beings to suffer because I don't want to or won't let go. <BR/><BR/>My hubby and I go through this trauma every time one of our herd of animals gets very old or very ill. We currently have 10 dogs and cats--most of them throw-a-ways that we have adopted. He wants to do everything to save them and I want to let them go when it gets to be too much. I am ready to let go when they have to suffer too much pain. I know animals are not considered to be on the same plane as humans (but I disagree there too). And yes, that baby did suffer pain, lots and lots of it. It was SELFISHNESS that the mother would not let go.Life As I Know It Nowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03733963455243806298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-28654026067916215602008-09-25T14:48:00.000-07:002008-09-25T14:48:00.000-07:00Spartacus, it was a chore to sit through the entir...Spartacus, it was a chore to sit through the entire film at times. I felt like it was whiny. I hate whiners, unless, of course, that I'm the one doing the whining and then I'm perfectly justified. (hehehe)<BR/><BR/>But it really was a challenge.DivaJoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02534571327558009753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-92231683769822577932008-09-25T13:21:00.000-07:002008-09-25T13:21:00.000-07:00Wow Diva.. I wish I had read this sooner. Been rea...Wow Diva.. I wish I had read this sooner. Been really busy lately. My thought on this is that we all have those moments where we ask ourselves "what would I do in that situation" and keep it private, acknowledging the fact that they are, thankfully <I>not</I> in that situation. <BR/><BR/>Then there are those who feel that their sense of what should be done is what everyone should do, and when it comes to a woman's reproductive rights, try to legislate, cajole, even murder people to see that their will is done. <BR/><BR/>I know which side of the aisle you sit on in this situation and as much as these two women appalled you, thankfully, you understand that it was their burden to carry, your opinion not withstanding. Great post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-85281501754848575732008-09-25T07:47:00.000-07:002008-09-25T07:47:00.000-07:00DK, there's a line that I quoted which says that t...DK, there's a line that I quoted which says that these micro-premies don't feel pain the way we do - it reminds me of a woman I knew when I lived in Israel. She was from South Africa, and she was a nurse. She was white, and she used to work in an African hospital (as opposed to a white hospital). She said they never used anesthetic on the blacks, because they don't feel pain the way we do. Uh-huh. I had to walk away.<BR/><BR/>Pagan, it is well worth seeing, but I found myself angry through all of it. But, as Helen says, Nicole IS a filmmaker, she knew what she was doing.<BR/><BR/>Helen, exactly.<BR/><BR/>Blueberry, it was me who said why not adopt? Which is why I think that Nicole's ego played such an insane part of this.DivaJoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02534571327558009753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-9413484300461440012008-09-24T20:20:00.000-07:002008-09-24T20:20:00.000-07:00Excellent post. I haven't seen the film, but given...Excellent post. I haven't seen the film, but given your description it sounds like I would likely react the way you did. Also, like someone mentioned, if you want another child badly enough to use a third party's body to produce it, why not adopt? Is there some reason the child *has* to have some of your DNA, and therefore you simply *must* bring another person into this world where there are so many already in need of love? Is that something that makes boosts one's ego? I will never understand that one.Blueberryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17357299403457746440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-91734570080536402632008-09-24T20:04:00.000-07:002008-09-24T20:04:00.000-07:00I have to say, I went into that film - even after ...I have to say, I went into that film - even after doing the website - without much expectation of it being so good. I think it's moving and really amazingly well done. I'm sure that part of it IS because Nicole is a film maker by profession. But I think it is worth seeing. <BR/><BR/>Obviously, it sparked something in DivaJood - and me as well. So I'd say go see it. It really is a good film no matter what your opinion going in/out of it.HelenWheelshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17709287737262543974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-76325428742318213242008-09-24T19:42:00.000-07:002008-09-24T19:42:00.000-07:00I think I see it your way, almost for sure. But I'...I think I see it your way, almost for sure. But I'd like to see the film before commenting thoroughly.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17296223961815248113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-41210546038151566512008-09-24T17:35:00.000-07:002008-09-24T17:35:00.000-07:00A thorny issue for sure. I'm glad these thing...A thorny issue for sure. I'm glad these things are not solely up to me because I tend to come down against too much & repeated extraordinary medical care. And I'm sorry but I simply don't believe that kind of pain cannot be felt or remembered by an infant. I do not think I could've watched that film all the way through. <BR/><BR/>ps, I too am sometimes amazed at my own opinions. But as long as they are honest opinions & if I remain capable of truly hearing other opinions, possibly even allowing myself to modify my own as a result, then I am fine. And so are you!D.K. Raedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01451065603615752038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-48758599666682387092008-09-24T16:47:00.000-07:002008-09-24T16:47:00.000-07:00Border, //When every child in the world receives b...Border, //When every child in the world receives basic nutrition, neonatal care, immunizations, then I might feel better about giving extraordinary support to cases of dire special need like this one.// Oh, sister, you have truly nailed it with this comment. I could not agree more.<BR/><BR/>Susan, I am in awe of the comments, the thoughtful discussion on this subject. But really, what Border just said cuts to the heart of the matter: when every child can receive basic treatment, well, then let's talk about the extreme.<BR/><BR/>FranIAm, I just saw "Burn After Reading" - your comment about how life would be so much easier if we just did not have to think made me laugh, because that's so much of what the BAR film speaks to. How easy a thoughtless life seems to be. Anyway.<BR/><BR/>Utah, I hope you meant cold blodded, rather than clod blodded. But I'm with you on this. I don't think a new-born should have been put through this just to feed one person's ego.<BR/><BR/>Mary Ellen, McCain's gesture smells of being a "Hail Mary" pass - and I don't believe it will work to his advantage. When George Will, the conservative's conservative, says that McCain is absolutely UNqualified to be President, you need to take a step back and look at this.DivaJoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02534571327558009753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-3960608684830015352008-09-24T12:43:00.000-07:002008-09-24T12:43:00.000-07:00Breaking News: John McCain suspends his campaign. ...Breaking News: John McCain suspends his campaign. I have it on both my blogs if any one is interested.Mary Ellenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07835150057881066641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-9644757343482658622008-09-24T09:53:00.000-07:002008-09-24T09:53:00.000-07:00Great Post Diva. Like Randal I agree with you and...Great Post Diva. Like Randal I agree with you and Dean Wormer. I am firmly on the side of allowing death to be the natural solution when death wants his way with you. And to my way of thought god has nothing to do with putting a fetus through that kind of hell. But I'm pretty clod blooded for most folks taste.Utah Savagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16385093247915560752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-59351382569612667072008-09-24T08:40:00.000-07:002008-09-24T08:40:00.000-07:00What a post - late to it though I am.Being Catholi...What a post - late to it though I am.<BR/><BR/>Being Catholic and being pro-life (in the fullest sense of the word) and being pro-choice as well (they are not incompatible) has forced me to spend the past 18 years pondering this. (In a few days I will note the day when I returned to church... My first discussion with God - <I>"About this abortion thing..."</I>)<BR/><BR/>And I continue to explore, wrestle, pray, ponder, study and talk.<BR/><BR/>You note the disgraceful Schiavo story- God have mercy. That is another topic for another day for me - but it was if nothing else a very dark day for the church.<BR/><BR/>As is the way other words have been co-opted... For me being pro-life it means that I can choose to not have an abortion. It also means that I have a lot of other responsibility to the world around me if I am pro-life.<BR/><BR/>That responsibility extends to health care, housing, food and nutrition, basic living needs for all, war, death penalty, torture, greed... So I am not uncomfortable with being pro-life.<BR/><BR/>I am always uncomfortable with what that means in our culture, which is very different.<BR/><BR/>Ultimately this sounds like a deeply challenging film - and I both really want to see it and not at once.<BR/><BR/>I think you express something really important beyond the main points of what this film itself means in regards to the life of this child and the two moms, not to mention the other child. How she must have to cope with all around her!<BR/><BR/>What you express is that if we are to really know what we think and believe, which is generally not a one stop destination if we are to ever learn and grow, it means facing many difficult things.<BR/><BR/>Things that would be much easier to not think about. Ever.<BR/><BR/>So that you felt so opinionated and had so many feelings, that you wrote this post just tells me that you are a person of real integrity- willing to face, albeit with discomfort at times, your real feelings. <BR/><BR/> <BR/>Thank you for this post.Franhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07181529277715646835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-74248294343634358132008-09-23T17:13:00.000-07:002008-09-23T17:13:00.000-07:00I'll line up with the rest to say great post, Jood...I'll line up with the rest to say great post, Jood! I think Dean Wormer and BE have most closely voiced my opinion on the matter.<BR/><BR/>Maybe some people are born to teach other people about quality of life.susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16747450215034568033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-57952480144690607522008-09-23T16:53:00.000-07:002008-09-23T16:53:00.000-07:00Stellar post, Diva! And such worthy comments. When...Stellar post, Diva! And such worthy comments. <BR/><BR/>When does an individual's right to decide yield to the common good? At the very least it should <I>incorporate</I> a thought toward the good of all.<BR/><BR/>When every child in the world receives basic nutrition, neonatal care, immunizations, then I might feel better about giving extraordinary support to cases of dire special need like this one. We have to have a wider view and see beyond <I>my</I> child (or my pet, for that matter).Billie Greenwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08214111146566550821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-85644045033448400252008-09-23T15:08:00.000-07:002008-09-23T15:08:00.000-07:00t.allen, I think we are all selfish by necessity. ...t.allen, I think we are all selfish by necessity. It's partly how we survive as a species. The degree, though; or selfishness under the guise of altruism - or hypocrisy - I dunno. NO answers from me. But I agree, small children are completely honest about it.<BR/><BR/>Helen, I think I remember you said you'd worked on this film's website a while ago - at any rate, the website is terrific. And thanks for the insight into Nicole. I'm sure she's lovely. But really, I think her devotion to Nicholas might be the cause of her marriage ending.<BR/><BR/>Okjimm, it's a terribly difficult decision. Really. My mother had a DNR and a living will; she had terminal cancer. She died at home. And I need to put one in place; as I told Fran, I don't have one yet - sheer procrastination on my part, not wanting to make the decision in advance. Selfish of me, really.<BR/><BR/>Dianne, you're right on point here. What is wrong with adoption? Why do invitro, take drugs with questionable side-effects, use a surrogate? The so-called miracle of birth (akin to shitting a watermelon) is nothing compared to the actual miracle of watching a child grow, think, learn. But you've hit on an issue that is inherent in this: if they wanted a second child so badly, what's wrong with adoption?DivaJoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02534571327558009753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-16699162290003055362008-09-23T13:56:00.000-07:002008-09-23T13:56:00.000-07:00Noble vs. SelfishI have such conflicted feelings a...Noble vs. Selfish<BR/><BR/>I have such conflicted feelings about that. I watched the Schiavo case closely and always felt the parents just did not want to let go and didn't care who they hurt in the process - including Terry. I would hope to not be that way were it my child.<BR/><BR/>I don't know if this is getting off topic - it feels connected to me. There is this "something" going on this country - maybe a backlash to feminism, maybe working Moms being sick of doing it all - "something" - that is turning Motherhood into a cult. My DIL and a friend of hers are torturing their bodies to have a child. 500,000 children in foster care - why wouldn't adopting one be as wonderful. I suppose I have no right since I did have a child of my own, I did experience childbirth. I get so conflicted. They have the look of zealots to me and it worries me - for them and for my son.<BR/><BR/>To bring this back to your post and I hope I didn't stray too much. I have not seen the film so I won't voice an opinion on this particular case but I do believe there are many who confuse being a good mother (or father) with their own selfish need to be feel invincible, immortal.Diannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02946500110072411468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-47182330508504092022008-09-23T13:17:00.000-07:002008-09-23T13:17:00.000-07:00What a stunning piece of writing.//at the end of t...What a stunning piece of writing.<BR/><BR/>//at the end of the day the decision to pull the plug or not rests with an individual, a person.//<BR/><BR/>I had to share that decision, ten years ago, about our father. He had been in ICU for 3 months; a series of heart attacks, stroke, passing kidney stones..... at 2:30am the doctor comes to tell us, in the waiting room, that he needs a major heart operation, and even that only held a %20 success rate,with severe 'quality of life issues' if he survived. He couldn't take any more pain. My mother couldn't. We couldn't. We said no. He died ten days later.<BR/><BR/>This was great stuff, Jood.okjimmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11013002335848390765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-85411454104661985722008-09-23T12:51:00.000-07:002008-09-23T12:51:00.000-07:00DivaJood, great post. I know a lot about this stor...DivaJood, great post. I know a lot about this story personally because I know Nicole and designed a good deal of the Little Man movie website. The marriage with Gwen did end awhile ago. Probably off topic, but Nicole is a really delightful and generous person. <BR/><BR/>I was floored by the film too - saw it AFTER I finished working on the site.<BR/><BR/>I see what you mean by the selfish factor - but aren't we all when we are adamant about saving a life? I tend to be that way with the dogs I rescue. At what point do you give up? I don't know the correct answer to that, for sure.<BR/><BR/>I understand your view as it relates to Schiavo... and I haven't met Nicolas in person so I can't say whether or not he's "happy." I have met Nicole only via email & phone, but am a member of a large online group she posts to and I can attest that she's a wonderful person. <BR/><BR/>I only feel free to mention the divorce because she offered that up to the group so I assume that means it's no secret. <BR/><BR/>The end result is that yes, she has a lifetime now of taking care of Nicolas' many needs. As of the time I was done with the site - this must be nearly 3 years ago now? He was around 4 years old and still had to be attended to nearly 24/7. I honestly don't know how she does it... how selfish is that, really? I can't imagine devoting my life to the care of someone else. <BR/><BR/>I can't really judge this one. I'm a pro-choice athiest, for what it's worth, but I can't see what Nicole decided to do as anything less than noble. <BR/><BR/>Am I selfish when I do everything I can to stop a dog from dying of distemper even when all the vets tell me it's not worth it? I don't think so, unless the suffering of the dog is too great. Like I said, I don't know how much Nicolas "suffers" - or how great his quality of life is, and I'd have to know that to understand how rational or irrational Nicole's choice was. <BR/><BR/>She now has sole responsibility for Nicoloas, BTW...HelenWheelshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17709287737262543974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-51747515593743314322008-09-23T12:38:00.000-07:002008-09-23T12:38:00.000-07:00I applaud your honesty. This topic is one of many ...I applaud your honesty. This topic is one of many along similar veins of discussions I've shared with my husband and my grandma. The only 2 people who will still respect me in the morning. :P<BR/><BR/>I'm admittedly selfish in ways that aren't always easy to say or hear. It isn't my selfishness that creates the difficulty but the oft-brutal honesty. <BR/><BR/>I completely understand the emotions you describe here and the ambivalence and even anger at those who you agree with and those with whom you do not. <BR/><BR/>These observations of the human condition are what make me appreciate small children so much. Without justification or rationalization-they do what they do simply because they "wanna". Honesty at its best.T.Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07288157852760931385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-59763809097416260662008-09-23T12:28:00.000-07:002008-09-23T12:28:00.000-07:00Ah, Mary Ellen, when I said "talk to god" I meant ...Ah, Mary Ellen, when I said "talk to god" I meant as in having hallucinations (God told me to go shoot up that Abortion Clinic.) I am far from being an atheist, I also believe in god, a higher power - without that, I would not have been able to get sober. <BR/><BR/>As for Nicole and Gwen, they were opposed about what to do; Gwen wanted to abort after they learned the fetus was not growing properly. Nicole did not. Gwen did not want to put him on life support. Nicole was adamant he go on it - and it wasn't that Gwen did not love him, it was that she was concerned about what was and what would be. It almost ended their marriage.<BR/><BR/>And Nicole raises the issue of obsession in the film. She herself talked about it; the fine line between a mother's love and obsession. I understand it well, as I have two kids and a grandchild. <BR/><BR/>But ultimately, left to god alone, this child would not have come to existance: no harvested eggs, no surrogate, no invitro, no life support. <BR/><BR/>You are not kicked off the ticket. I am busy decorating the West Wing. See my post below.<BR/><BR/>Sewmouse, really, who are we to decide for anyone else what is right, what is wrong, for them? And then ultimately, if the choice made is different than what we would choose, we cannot tell them they are wrong.<BR/><BR/>Go Cubs.DivaJoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02534571327558009753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10048624.post-17600625710699954892008-09-23T12:21:00.000-07:002008-09-23T12:21:00.000-07:00Well said my friend.Well said my friend.Dr. Monkey Von Monkersteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14370062692837972451noreply@blogger.com