Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Where is my bailout?

I believe I am as deserving of a bailout as anayone. What do I have to do? Be AIG or build motor cars or something?

The terms of the bailout are sort of limited to “qualifying U.S. banks, savings associations, and certain bank and savings and loan holding companies, engaged only in financial activities.” But since the $700B bailout package is now down to $60, Karl Rove's former boy Jeb Mason gets to pick and choose which companies he'll approve or whack. They include automakers, banks, S&Ls, cheesemakers, Credit Card companies and they all get in line and beg at the hand that may or may not feed them.

And if the government runs out of money? No worries. Jeb's got a printing press and they can just print more.

I need an official lobbyist to go get me a piece of that pie. I work hard, I know my business, and I want to keep my home. So there.

16 comments:

Randal Graves said...

You might want to change 'communists speak' to 'capitalists speak, God Bless America.' Betcha get some mad loot then.

How hard is it to start a bank? If we do that immediately, think we can make the application deadline?

T.Allen-Mercado said...

I'm right along with you. As the oldest child with two children of my own-one of which is a teenager, surely, I qualify as a bank? You would think right? Ugh. Keep your head up! :)

MRMacrum said...

During the campaign I kept hearing how small business is the back bone of this country. As a small business owner in trouble, I appreciated the sentiment. Yet, I find that at this point, any relief given is not being aimed at the backbone but the huge mouth that eats and eats and produces nothing but more shit.

I am with you. Where is my bail out? I fear any help I might be offered will end up being too little too late. Until then I guess I will have to dine on empty words.

Frederick said...

I want so cash too. Wait... I have to write myself a check?

Utah Savage said...

Can I get in on the bank formation deal?

themom said...

Yeh, yeh...and AIG is still having their little get-aways. Since Paulson has cahnged the rules - I am sure he will favor his own! We, "the little people" are still going to get screwed - UNLESS - we can hold out till January 20th and the new Prez tells them all to go to hell. He has one bang up team of econmists advising him right now - and I have my fingers crossed.

Fran said...

Paulson said NO money for the big auto makers..... just for Wall Street. Damn! Bailouts are only for the wealthy.

Big oil should bail out the big 3 auto makers & pay their fair share, since they have world record profits.
But that would make sense & we are still under the Bush regime.

Nuff said!

I hope the tides turn for you & soon!

Cormac Brown said...

Add "a subsidiary of Haliburton" to your company's masthead and you'll get a blank check without any financial oversight.

susan said...

Here's a link to the official TARP application form. You have to hand it in by Nov. 14th so best to get the pencil sharpened now.

D.K. Raed said...

Diva your cash problem is that you haven't failed to the tune of billion$ (yet). When you get to that point, you will qualify for bailout money. It's a reach Catch-22.

Lulu Maude said...

I'm going to start making cheese.

Agi said...

Can't the Secretary of Strawberries do something about this? I demand that Henry Paulson pay off my mortgage and credit cards immediately!

DrDon said...

Good thing the non-socialists are still in charge or this thing would get outta hand.

DivaJood said...

RG, I rather like "Communists Speak." But if you think it might get me into AIG's party, well...

T.Allen, that sounds like perfect credentials to me. Let's all go to the Bank of T.Allen!

Mrmacrum, empty words have no calories, so we'd all fight obesity that way.

Frederick, no, just go to the basement printing press and run off a few million crisp bills.

Utah, since you didn't get to be Big Chief Supreme, I think for sure you should be the CFO of the new bank. Really.

Themom, maybe we should all get onto the AIG invite list? I bet the hors d'ouvres are bitchin.

Fran, that's a great idea about Big Oil bailing out the auto industry. Really, it seems only fair.

Cormac, you've just given me a great idea: instead of Communists Speak, I should put Halliburton Wannabes...

Susan, it's that FDIC part that's a little dodgy for me.

DK, here's me slapping my forehead. OF COURSE. I'm just not failing big enough.

Lulu, what a good idea. Cheese. Can I have some please?

Agi, I asked the Secretary, and she said that she was now Dorothy from the Wizard of OZ and such.

Drdon, ya think?

Spartacus said...

Hey Jood... ya think Henry Paulson secretly desires to be like the Soprano's character Tony Soprano? I could just see him clutching his crotch telling us all "Ay, you want bailout money? I got your bailout money right here!!!!"

Distributorcap said...

i give it one year before we see what a disaster this bailout has been

wait i give it to jan 21