A Message from the (presumed) Secretary of Strawberries

So but I waiting for a call from ether Presinet-elec Obama or his Cheefsaff Rammanul, telling asking me to be Secretary of Strawberries an Cream an such even tho my gramma din't win the lecshun. She voted for Obama insted of herself but she paid he Campaign Manger Randal six times nuthin slavery. An she thanks everbody who sported her campaign wich wasn't too many but thanks anyways.

We like Rammanul, he blongs to the same singog temple as my cuson David and he went to the same skool as my mommy an my unka Aman went to only not at the same time. Coz he's older than my mommy and unka Aman.

So this in'sit a dreem we all gonna wake up from an say oops. Barack Obama is reely the new Presinet-elec an we be done soon with the Bush.

A Message from the Secretary of Strawberries and Cream

So my gramma got a kitty cat an his name is Mr Bean an I'm Ellie Bean so we relugates reltated. He makes noise an bites gramma's nose an toes an such. I like to play in fountuns. Vote for Obama. This is Mr. Bean:

A Message from the Secretary of Strawberries

My mommy sez that peepols should only call 911 when they has real dismergencies. So but that means not like this:

911, what's your emergency?

"I'm stuck in traffic."

"Are you having a heart attack?"

"No. But this traffic won't move."

"Is someone in the car having a heart attack? Are you being threatened? Has there been an accident?"

"No, no, and no. Do you know who I am?"

"No, sir, but please state your emergency."

"I TOLD YOU I'M STUCK IN TRAFFIC. THIS IS JOE (not the plumber) MCCAIN. I'M IMPORTANT!"

"Ummmm"

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So my mommy sez that's not a dismergency. My gramma saw a dismergency yesterday, she saw a car crash with a car flipped onto its top and the other car all smushed in front and peepols with blood and such and lots of pleece cars and amblances and hurt peepols. She dint call 911 cause they were arredy there.

An Ms. Sarah Palin thinks that her clothes are sexist the fight about what she spent on them. Ms. Sarah Palin has a pretty red leather jacket from her clothes and somebody went to help her pick out the clothes but peepols got upset when John Edwards spent too much on his hair so she's wrong it isn't sexist she spent too much money an such.

My gramma got a new sweater which she likes which she will wear when she comes to visit me soon.

A Message from The Secretary of Strawberries & Cream

Hi my gramma gotta new kitty his name is Mr Bean but she don' havany picksures yet cause she's lazy and besides there's Mr. John McCain's friend Joe The Not Plumber to talk bout. Mr. John McCain doesn't do too well vetting peeples too much. Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher is really not a plumber at all. So but he also seems to owe some back taxes too. An he doesn't have a liesenze thingy that sez he can be a plumber. I don wan him to work on my mommy's toilets because he's not really a plumber and we need to fix the back bafroom. So but he wanted to know about if he buys this bizness and it makes $250000 a year wud his taxes go up but they wudn't and that's good caus he owes about $1200 in back taxes anyways.

An Joe-the-not-plumber has the same last name as Robert M. Wurzelbacher Jr., the son-in-law of Charles Keating of the infamous "Keating Five" scandal but nobody's really proven that he's related to Robert M. Wurzelbacher Jr. but lotsa peeples think he is related but I don know for sure. If they is related then that's kinda stoopid of Mr. John McCain but he's a meanie man an I don much like him. An look what he does, he tries to grab anybody's behind.

A message from the secretary of Strawberries and cream

Gramma likes this pikshure ame coz it looks like I giving a speech. I like it too coz I rode my big wheel an I like it it pink. I made a apple pie with my mommy we went to the apple fesval, an I go downa really big slide. So we made a pie. An we don't much like the new ads Senator McCain is running coz they aren't true about Bill Ayers an Rezko an The Bailout an as much as I like Strawberries I think Senator Obama has to talk about McCain's scandal. I mean the S&L scandal but so Obama's got a new ad that starts today about it. It's long. I don't have time to look at it now, I have to go to skool.

A Message from the Secretary of Strawberries and Cream

My gramma is deserpesed depersed sad. Don't make her sad. She's sad because the Chicago Cubs forgot how to play baseball and aren't doing too good. I can sing take me outa ballgame take me outacrowd real loud but it isn't helping. And gramma is sad because John McPain's runner mape isn't too smart but she was winking at everbody when she debate Joe Biden and talking about Joe Sixpack but Joe Biden is kind of Joe Sixpack and it scared Gramma to see Sarah Palin ack sorta like Raygun. All charmy chummy cute. It was icky.

But gramma had lunch with Alicia from Last Left Turn Before Hooterville and they had fun and got hand massages and ate sammiches and salads and had cookies. I like cookies too. That's them in the picture below.


They look happy, but it was before the debate and baseball.

Friday Grandbaby Blogging, with awards

My gramma was visiting me she was stayed here for three weeks, and she kept tickling me her fingers would get stuck in my armpits and so I stole her nose and ate it but it made her tickle me more. Then mommy went to Washtun DC for her work and gramma let me play in things that mommy doesn't and I got to bring a big stick home for doggy. Doggy got sick and went to hopsital because she ate my food. Mommy and gramma and me took doggy to hopsital and they kept her overnight I was sad. Doggy can't eat my food or she go back to hopsital. We don't like Sarah Palin in my house she likes to kill animals and that's not pro life at all. I like spiderwebs. There's a feather on the outside wall it hanging upsidedown from a bird I don't know how it got there. And Gramma got a award from Utah Savage which is pretty.




So Gramma and me gonna give this award to some other peoples. More than two peoples. Five peoples. Gramma thinks these peoples are brilliante

1. Pagan Sphinx
2. Border Explorer
3. Robert Rouse
4. Liquid
5. Fran

All these bloggers are brilliante. They are great to read, great images, thoughts.

A Message from the Secretary of Strawberries

So but this is me with my best friend he's my boyfriend too. An we play an go to skoo-wel together an our mommies are friends too. My gramma is here visiting and working. I copoperate really good an then we get extra kisses, I even copoperate in the bath but I cant wanna get my hair washed but I don cry I copoperate. An I eat my vegtales like brokly I like brokly. When gramma is Prezilnut we will eat brokly in the Whitehouse. An strawberries. My gramma sometimes makes me up when I seeping, like if I am napping in the car because we go to UnkaRogers House with his doggies and Ant Miss Suden, if gramma laffs it makes me up. I tell her stop making noise gramma, I seeping. Okay I hafta play now. Vote for Gramma Diva Jood and Nunly.

A Message from the Secretary of Strawberries and Cream

Doggie jumponmy bed. Mya choclut milk peas? Doggie jumponmy bed, she's not asposd to but she jumponmy bed. An we went to the fair me and mommy and there was a improviser group and they wanted a volumater someone to come up on stage and so I raised my hand and I got to go up and play in their play which was someone telling me a story. I like stories. So but they blew pretend sand on me so I caught it in my hand and they said doggie would come lick all the sand offa me so I told them doggie jumponmy bed and everbody laughed especially mommy laughed. And they took my picture for the paper. Mya strawberries with my chocolate milk peas?

And you should all vote Diva/Nunly and not for that girl with the first name of a city and not for the Simian Doctor and not for anyone else but Diva/Nunly that's what I think

A Statement from the Secretary of Strawberries and Cream

Mya strawberries peease?

Do you like to play with Elmo? I play with Elmo and I make his voice too. And tomorrow I might go to the beach and play inna sand. And my doggy has agerlies and scraches herself. And bites her paws coz they ich her feet.

Do you wanna eat strawberries? Every peoples gets free strawberries when Gramma is Prezilnet. Not just two peoples, but every peoples. Only two peoples in the bafroom though at skool.

Mya more strawberries, peeeease?

Friday Grandbaby Blogging

photo source: DZN Press

My gramma Diva Jood is running for Prezilnut and her major ape-onet even gave her free publicity so gramma wantsta no if Dr. Zaius is wanting a debate? I don't no what is a debate but I like cookies and strawberries. Mya strawberries, peese? And but gramma Diva is working hard for peeples who don want go to war an sez: It should be MANDATORY that all sons and DAUGHTERS of our REPUBLICAN, CHICKEN-HAWK, NEO-CONSERVATIVE, WAR-MONGERING elected officials be drafted and go serve in the military and fight and blow things up. You know, the ones who really WANT war, not us.

mya more strawberries, peese?

Friday Grandbaby Blogging - and 20 Years of Sobriety

I'm in celebration mode today. Today marks 20 years clean and sober in Alcoholics Anonymous which, frankly, is a complete surprise. For those of you who are not alcohlic drinkers, you don't have any idea what it is like to be unable to function without alcohol or drugs - that, combined with a clear understanding that to continue drinking and using the way I did, I would surly die. And twenty years ago, death looked quite attractive to me. I could not go one step further.

I had long avoided AA, because I believed it was a cult for White, Male, Christian, Low-Bottom Homeless drunks. Besides, I'm Jewish; we're not. I knew I had to drink because it was the only way to turn off the voices in my head. I had to drink because you pissed me off. I had to drink because it was Tuesday. I had to drink to stay numb. Invisible. I was half a mother; I was half a wife; I was less than half a person.

Had I continued drinking, I would have found a way to committ suicide. I had reached the stage of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization that only an alcohlic at bottom can understand. I found AA by accident; my eskimo is no longer sober.

The last 20 years have not been easy. I've been divorced for 17 years; I filed bankruptcy five years ago and am actually teetering on the edge again. I am leaving a steady paycheck for the unstable world of commission only at a time when our economy is in the toilet but it is something I just know is the right choice. I am terrified about it, as it is an unknown, but sober, I know that I will be alright. I've never been successful financially, so I have no safety net, and still I have faith that this will work. I have a god of my understanding which is personal, and so I don't talk much about it.

But now, with 20 years of Recovery, I am a grandmother to the most amazing child I've ever known. And I am not half a grandmother. I am happily and usefully whole, and a positive influence on Beanie, even though she's in Chicago and I'm in Los Angeles. She calls me. She talks about me all the time. When I am with her, I am 100% whole and with her. I am relied upon, and this makes me so grateful I cannot tell you. Beanie is the most tangible gift I've received in sobriety. I have a rich, full life, with friends and family - and this perfect grandchild who is truly the love of my life.

For all this, and more, I am very grateful.

Friday Granddaughter Blogging: Happy Independence Day

"Our country is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity. Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong." – James Bryce

So but you can pracite pactice holiday safety like this you can wear a hat and sunscreen and you can drink lotsa water so you don dewaterate and you can eat one hotdog stead of six so you don getta tummy ache. And when you talk on your cell phone you can use a blue tooth my teeth are white but you shud drive hands free with your cell phone I mean hands on the steering wheel. I have a Barbi Big Wheel and I can ride it all the time.

And my gramma read Pagan Sphinx today who said everybody shud read THIS post by Forks Off The Moment which tells us all to DO something. Which we try to do. I mean, how can we be really free when we allow the bad prezilnet to lie and cheat and torture and act like a dicktater?

Happy Independence Day. Maybe we will be independent of that bad Prezilnut Bush soon.

Friday Granddaughter Blogging

I'm playing with Molly LUCY who is a puppy and she's younger than me and I am in her bed outside which is an inside bed but I took it outside to play with and her toys too. I like little puppies and big dogs my dog is a big dog and she's not a puppy anymore. At school only two peoples in the bafroom two peoples only. I brush my own teeth.

Friday Granddaughter Blogging

Well, my gramma is uspet because the Chicago Cubs have lost three games in a row to Tampa and now they have to play the Chicago White socks at home and we don't like the white socks at all I like pink socks but they don't play baseball. But the Cubs and the white socks are both in first place and Carlos can't pitch cause his shoulder is sore so it is Ted Lilly and my gramma is neeresvos worried. I am learning how to catch a big beach ball its fun and I like water aboons more than blow up aboons. You can throw water aboons, but regaler aboons you have to tie on a string and they float.

Friday Granddaughter Blogging

Friday Granddaughter Blogging

Gramma didn't have internet for two days. It made Gramma fortstated, because she couldn't work. She couldn't do much. Now it's fixed. I sit on her lap and look at slide show pictures of me. Now it's bedtime. Bye bye.

Friday Granddaughter Blogging

Gramma is coming to visit me again tomorrow and I can't wait. We'll go to the zoo and maybe a baseball game and I can eat hot dogs. We went to see Mickey Mouse and I got scared at the rides. I'm having a onion pinyon about the Priminster of Izreal because he should resign because he took bribes and he doesn't want peace. And he's sposed to go to Egypt with somebody named Barak who is not the same as Barack Obama, because this Barak is the Izreal minster of defence and they're sposed to talk about a sees fires with Gaza. And this Barak and lots of other peoples in Izreal are telling the priminster to resign because of craolushun crupshun. I think he's a bad man like the prezlinet of America and they should put them all in peaches.

I like to draw on the steps with my giant chalk. Bye bye. Let's have peace.

Friday Granddaughter Blogging

With gas is being more than $4 I maybe shouldn't be driving. My gramma wants to work from home so she doesn't have to drive every day. The people who want to be prezilnet are all making stuff up about gas to bring the prices down, even the one gramma likes. She thinks that prezilnet Bush and his friends are doing something to barrels like maplate matulipating the price or something. I like baseball. I like the Cubs. I want a new prezilnet because the one we have is a bad man and he should be in peaches.

Friday Granddaughter Blogging

I like Minnie Mouse dress. It cute.

My gramma sent a email to the pretzlenet in the white house telling him he made her real mad about what he said yesterday in Israel. Thie pretzlenet is digutsing. If you go to J-Street you can send a letter too.

Bye bye, I hafta go to school now.

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UPDATE: Cinema Verite, take two, a musical:

MOMMY: (Driving the car, Beanie in the backseat in her car seat) What shall we sing?

BEANIE: O Mick Donnal

MOMMY: (sings, with BEANIE prompting each animal, each possible pet, and then making that sound until they've all been sung) What animal now, Sweetie?

BEANIE: Gramma!

MOMMY: (Singing) Old MacDonald Had a Farm, E-I-E-I-O, and on his farm he had a Gramma, E-I-E-O, with a:

BEANIE: Snore snore snore snore snore

(MOMMY LAUGHS SO HARD, SHE HAS TO PULL OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. BEANIE IS QUITE PLEASED WITH HERSELF.)

END SCENE