Friday, April 11, 2008

Where have I been?


Where oh where have I been? I spent three weeks on a cruise from Sydney to Hong Kong, that's simple enough. But the real silence has been longer than three weeks. I've been experiencing a deep quiet and a need for clarity. I've probably lost all my readers, so sorry about that. But my heart has been heavy since July , and I've had little to contribute that felt positive.

Bean turned three in March. She's now in a toddler bed, she gave up her beloved binky and she happily uses the potty. She calls me on her toy cell phone and chatters away. I will see her in a week.

I snagged a copy of My Name Is Rachel Corrie. This is the play based on Rachel Corrie's journals and emails - she was a young American woman who was killed in Gaza by Israeli bulldozers. The Israelis say accident; the Palestinians turned her into a Martyr; Katherine Viner and Alan Rickman edited her words into a play because they felt she was a young woman who had a story to tell. I've not seen the play performed, but the press surrounding it and the controversy that surrounds it has taken on a life of its own.

Two young people I know have died from overdoses - both were at one time sober, both went out. A powerful disease, alcoholism and drug addiction. Both of these people lived in a world of hurt, and hopefully their souls are at rest. At peace.

I did not blog against theocracy this Easter. I will not blog against anything ever again. I need to be for something, rather than against. I need to be for peace, for transparency, for a life that tries to heal the world. I'm just so tired of anger, and angry people. To quote Bob Dylan, "you are right from your side, and I am right from mine, and it's one to many mornings and a thousand miles behind."

But I think I am back. Maybe. We'll see.

13 comments:

robin andrea said...

You didn't lose me, Diva Jood. I have you on RSS feed, and check in every morning, just in case. I'm glad to see you posting again. I always miss your perspective and compassion.

Yes, I agree about wanting to be "for" something. Peace. A very good thing. I avoid the dramatizations of real dramas. Too many passions and perils in wanting to make the perfect point. My heart needs music and uplifting, not reinforcement of the bleakness.

Welcome back, friend, it's so good to see you here again.

betmo said...

just waiting for a post :) i know what you mean about being for instead of against. we need to search for inner peace in order to effect any change. enjoy your time with beanie :)

WeezieLou said...

and you didn't lose me. as you know, the pain of addiction has been in my life. watching loved ones go back out is simply horrifying. there's only a couple of ways that ends.

welcome back. and i love positive blogging - it's refreshing

DivaJood said...

Hi Robin! Well, I do admit that some of the time I was on a trip, but otherwise, um, not so much. But I think I might be back. Plus, I am certain that I am going to go independant for work, which will be exciting.

Hi Betmo! I leave to see Beanie next week, and I am so excited. Then she and my daughter will come home with me, and I get to take Beanie to Disneyland for her first visit. SO excited.

Hi Weezie! Yes, you're right about where addiction will end. Both these two were hard - Andrew was such a big part of my journey to California - he and his brother were very welcoming to me, so when Andrew went back out, it was heartbreaking. And when he died, three weeks ago, we were all just devastated. Kat, though, had all kinds of things wrong with her and she never got the outside help she needed. She was always a lost cause. Sad, but true.

Dusty said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loses Diva..its heartbreaking to watch someone you love and care about suffer so.

I also have you on my RSS feed, but I didn't check friday's until now..and then you came and commented at Leftwing Nutjob.

Its good to see you back around the blogosphere, but again..sorry for your emotional pain dear friend. :(

Dusty said...

Oh, I forgot..so good to hear about the Beanie and Disneyland! Plus your cruise sounds so wonderful..you should provide us pictures dear woman ;)

The Future Was Yesterday said...

" I've probably lost all my readers, so sorry about that. But my heart has been heavy since July "
I can't speak for others, but I consider you a friend. As such, you told me on here a long time ago, you were undergoing a period of readjustment, so I just waited. Beeeeg ole Hug, and welcome back!!

DivaJood said...

Hi Dusty! I think I'm out visiting again - what a nutty year. And I am going to do a whole entire post about 2008 being 100 years for the Cubs since they last won a World Series...

Hi Future! Hugs back atcha! It is appreciated. Of course, I am a bit of a nutter, but oh, well.

Dusty said...

From one baseball fan to another..I await that post dear lady ;)

Frederick said...

Lose who? :)

DivaJood said...

Hi Dusty - well, baseball been very good to me.

Frederick, I dunno, maybe a Republican or two...

LET'S TALK said...

Hi DivaJood, may I say that it is so nice to have you back. I'm sorry to hear about your two friends.

I hope that you are back to stay because you have been missed.

enigma4ever said...

I have checked on you frequently and thought of you and sent you good thoughts...so sorry...for all that you have been going through...so wonderful to see you again....we were all here....and still are...

namaste...