Monday, August 28, 2006

Civil War Ironclads Reclassified by Administration

With a growing sense of urgency to protect the American Public, the Bush Administration has decided to reclassify the number of strategic weapons in the US arsenal as top secret.

Included are Civil War Ironclads, breast milk, formula, other beverages, and muskets.

The Freedom of Information Act has also been reclassified as a secret, because it might fall into the hands of people who actually want to know what's going on in the USA. Private Citizens might actually want to read up on some things. So, in order to protect us, last spring, 55,000 decades-old pages vanished from the public record. Oh, and the process itself was labeled an official secret.

I don't know about you, but I feel SOOOO much safer now.

11 comments:

karena said...

Thank God they classified this information. I can only imagine some nut case, running around willy nilly, waving a FOIA gained report showing the number of muskets left over from the civil war. I reckon they're afraid we'll all want one for ourselves, with gun laws being so strict and what not.

karena said...

LOL! Now they are going to classify the amount of breast milk that is running around, like some kind of loose nuke??? Beverages, weapons of choice, weapons of mass destruction for the masses. We must ban all liquids swiftly and permanently.

robin andrea said...

When we have a Democratic congress and a Democrat in the White House, I'm hoping we'll be able to undo this insanity. That's the only thing keeping me sane. I've been reading some reports that say the repubs might be able to keep the senate. That kind of news keeps me up at night.

DivaJood said...

Karena, really. I mean, can you just imagine if Civil War Ironclads fell into the wrong hands? Or, god forbid, BREAST MILK?

Robin Andrea, at this moment, I'd be very surprised if the Republicans DON"T keep the Senate and House - that's why Satan invented Diebolt machines.

Kvatch said...

And the ironclads too, damnit! Don't want the Chinese stealing our naval secret, or...god forbid...the Islamo-fascists! What if the plans for the Monitor were to get into the hands of the Mahdi Army?

"Allah be praised! We've obtained the plans for a super secret US weapon."

"But sir, it looks like a tuna can on top of a gravy boat..."

quakerdave said...

Worst-case scenario: Muslims with muskets, drinking breast milk while sailing an ironclad.

Scary stuff, that.

DivaJood said...

Kvatch, worse: it could be the making of The Gay Agenda.

Quaker Dave, that's just a scary thought. Save me now, while I look for my lipstick.

Sigrid Jardin said...

It reminds me of last Sunday's` Doonesbury cartoon where "History" arrives unannounced at the White House and "W" protests that it is not supposed to arrive for at least a century. If the Repubs can just erase or re-write history now, while they're large and in charge, everything will be just fine. And, yes, Divajood, I agree that they have Satan on their side with those Diebold machines. They scare me more than anything, to be truthful!

sumo said...

Yeah...it'd be a shame if it fell into the hands of some doped up squirels and they really knew what they had in their possession.

Pete's Blog said...

Secrecy in the US! Hah! My whole blog lives on the unique lack of secrecy in the US.

The KGB (now SVR) must have a field day reading the newspapers (NYT) and internet to check how many CIA speeches, press releases and memoirs have piled up that day.

US intelligence agencies rely so heavily on PR ability (add Homeland Security taking the credit for the British investigation of liquid bombs on planes plot) that hostile intelligence agencies would have almost too much to read.

Who cares about FOI?

Pete

DivaJood said...

Sigrid, voting reform is so essential - and while I am not completely opposed to the machines, they need to be independent, and not have a proprietary software developed by a convicted felon, with ties to the Bush administration. I dunno, maybe it's me, but the cronyism around Diebold stinks to high heaven.

Sumo, squirrels with muskets - that's just wrong.

Pete, ya think they're over-reacting or something? Oh, and that Freedom of Information act is so last century. I'm over it.