Thursday, August 07, 2008

Ode to Okjimm, Secretary of Beer, Donuts and Refreshments


Nobody works harder than my Secretary of Beer, Donuts and Refreshments, Okjimm! He manages to cover a variety of important food-related issues, including free beer, root beer, donuts and cheese for everyone.

But more important, he was able to sneak into the Sturgis Rally for McCain, and he heard all kinds of important shit sound-bytes. McCain said to the crowd of a few thousand Harley riders: "I was looking at the Sturgis schedule and noticed that you have a beauty pageant and so I encouraged Cindy to compete. I told her, with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both the First Bitch and Miss Buffalo Chip."

Meanwhile, my Secretary for UFOS, that Texas Oasis, Blueberry, has been looking into the place where all of John McCain's speeches come from. McCain likes to season his speeches with buffalo chips, after all.

18 comments:

FranIAm said...

That shit box makes me laugh and then I forget what I want to comment about!

Randal Graves said...

You wanted to praise the utility of shit boxes! Okjimm should start a catering company, he's the undisputed master of food and drink, Emeril without the stupid spicy bam crap. Plus, there's beer.

DivaJood said...

FranIam, I love the shit box. It goes with the campaign party, Shit From Shinola.

Randal, beer and donuts. I love the box, it's so useful.

enigma4ever said...

I love the box...must have..does it come different sizes ???

( as Secretary of Human Health and Diss-Services and the Dept.of All Fucked Up I better start working on my policies...and order a truck load of those shit boxes.)

Bradda said...

That's the happiest piece of shit I've ever seen! okjimm, Duff me my good man.

DivaJood said...

Enigma, no kidding. We need a shit load of those shit boxes.

Bradda, happy shit? No shit.

okjimm said...

Break me up..... When I first heard that McCain went to Sturgis.... I said, "C'mon"....but the shit head really went!

Unbelievable...... gees, I gotza peeling, uh, feeling....that the fun is just begun.

DivaJood said...

okjimm, no shit. I really appreciated all those okvoters, though, who know the difference between a shithead like McCain and the Shit From Shinola party.

Blueberry said...

When you go to the john, you can produce your own JohnMcCain speech... with apologies to all others named John.

Watch out for Mr. and Ms. Bitch and Chips. She's a doormat and he's extra foul and reeking but just wipes it on her.

DCup said...

With this team, you are bound to win!

Fran said...

McCain at the Sturgis Motorcycle gathering? I'm shaking my head trying to envision him fitting in with the biker scene????

Let me guess- he actually got his ass kicked in a Hell's Angels biker bar brawl, but CBS ordered Katie Couric to show a smiling McCain with a do-rag on his head, chugging beers with the bikers, waving an american flag made in China.

Stranger things have happened.....

Dr. Zaius said...

Speaking of shit boxes, it would seem that Paris Hilton has become a presidential candidate...

DivaJood said...

Blueberry, I'm so glad you found that box, I cannot tell you. I always knew that's how McCain got his speeches.

Dcup, we really are a strong group, I'm proud of all of you on the Shit From Shinola Party.

Fran, needless to say, he did NOT dress in biker chic.

Dr. Z, one more for the debates. But I think she's under age to be president.

Spartacus said...

Aw shit...that's one useful box there. And, yes, okjimm is da (beer) man. Yo, beer man! Over here.

DivaJood said...

Spatacus, that is an incredibly useful box. I might have to purchase one.

Mathman6293 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mathman6293 said...

I understand doughnuts can solve a handful of problems. I even heard that good ones can keep spouses together. My question is which kind are we supporting?

Donuts - Dunkin Donuts

or

Doughnuts - Krispy Kreme?

Any beer is a winner.

HelenWheels said...

I'm still in shock that McLame whored his wife out to be Miss Shit Chip 2008. What despicable behavior. Not as bad as calling her a "cunt," but worse than the rape joke.