Thursday, October 02, 2008

How to prepare for tonight's debate

I've been a bad Diva. I've not visited anybody, and didn't blog at all yesterday. The reason is because tonight is a big debate, and my running mate, Nunly hasn't been invited. Still, I wanted to find a way to help everyone prepare. Here it is: You can channel your inner Sarah Palin and get ready for ANY debate.

But it is also October, and yesterday, an October Surprise. The Cubs were bludgeoned by the Dodgers in game 1 of the Division Series, and dug themselves into a pretty deep hole. Where in the world was Ryan Dempster? The man who never walks anybody walked seven, and gave up a Grand Slam in the 7 - 2 loss. I'm sick. Who gives a shite about the World Economy and various Creditors when baseball is at stake? (Randal, you knew I would have to get an Alan Rickman reference in somewhere.)

Nevertheless: IF someone asks YOU about your foreign policy experience, you can always respond
**Alaska that we work with our allies, pressuring, also, helping us to remind Russia that it's Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the energy independence that I've been working on for these years as the governor of this country, and victory in the stringent oversight, making sure that these weapons of mass destruction, that nuclear weapons are not given to those hands of Ahmadinejad, not that he would allow terrorists to be able to go back in history and if you really think I can give you examples of things that can be looked to as the solution to the mission, the mission is to control and to control energy supplies, also, coming from and through Russia, that's a dangerous position for our world is and how important it is about doing a lot of background work first and shoring up our economy.
**computer generated response based on probabilities calculated from Sarah Palin's actual speech.

10 comments:

Dean Wormer said...

When cornered just make yourself increasingly adorable. Sure fire way to win.

Randal Graves said...

That method has worked for me for years. Wait, no it hasn't.

Don't worry about the loss, boss. Just remember the 2004 Red Sox.

HelenWheels said...

My mind is just blown that it's Dodgers vs. Cubs, Diva... since like you I'm a Cub fan but living in L.A. So, I have SOME loyalty to Dodgers. I'm too objective to be a real fan of anyone, I'm afraid...

robin andrea said...

I don't follow baseball, but I'm definitely going to watch the debate tonight. That Palin is such a cute gal, she's going get points just for standing there and having words come out of her mouth. Any word will do.

DivaJood said...

Dean, I don't know if that will work for the Cubs, but will it work for Joe Biden?

Randal, is that an instruction? You're giving me an instruction that involves memory? Long TERM Memory? What was the instruction again?

Helen, I have NO loyalty to the Dodgers, none, zero, zippo.

Robin, isn't Sarah adorable? Especially toting that high-power rifle of hers, when she's shooting animals from a helicopter.

HelenWheels said...

I like going to Dodgers games, is all, but they will never be as fun as Cubs games. NEVER.

Remember: Biden is the one who coined the phrase "a noun, a verb and 911" ... I don't think we have to worry about tonight's debate going to Ms. Moosemeat, no matter how "cute" she tries to be.

Randal Graves said...

What's an instruction? Isn't that like the VCR programming thingamajig?

Fran said...

Well Diva~ When it comes to debates-- Don't forget-- always plaster a big goofy smile on your face. Especially when that darned opponent keeps bringin' up your ticket's actual votin' record history.

Look right into the camera like a frightened deer.
Wear a giant, tacky flag pin, and say the word maverick at least 10 times. If you don't have any experience or really know the answers to the questions, ignore the question, and attack the person who is not present. Occasional winking is appropriate, when you are done bring in the baby prop.
I'm sorry to say, I have never seen that baby move- except one time when Todd grabbed his arm & did a waving motion. I don't see the baby move, never heard him cry or make any sounds.
Are they just using a baby prop?

It's cruel to drag those kids around the country
while Mom takes a crash course in VP'in'

Shouldn't they be in school learnin' about global warmin', science, endangered species, and birth control? Maybe about the history of the republican party in relation to current events?

Blueberry said...

We had 3 winning cards in Palin Bingo [http://palinbingo.com]

linda said...

doggonit, I loved that comp. generated response...hysterical! I am not a baseball or hockey fan er mom, so can't speak up for your baseball woes....give me a few coaches tho and I can do just about anything! winkies...

thanks for the visit to my blog today! wink wink...now I am settlin' in for a read of yours with my grizzly bear rug gathered around my sweet, scented shoulders...ooooh, I mussed my french poofy thing with his snout, gotta grab a kid to fix it for me...get over here you ... no you no no no you...no, which one are you?

aren't I cute?