Friday, October 24, 2008

A Message from the Secretary of Strawberries

My mommy sez that peepols should only call 911 when they has real dismergencies. So but that means not like this:

911, what's your emergency?

"I'm stuck in traffic."

"Are you having a heart attack?"

"No. But this traffic won't move."

"Is someone in the car having a heart attack? Are you being threatened? Has there been an accident?"

"No, no, and no. Do you know who I am?"

"No, sir, but please state your emergency."




So my mommy sez that's not a dismergency. My gramma saw a dismergency yesterday, she saw a car crash with a car flipped onto its top and the other car all smushed in front and peepols with blood and such and lots of pleece cars and amblances and hurt peepols. She dint call 911 cause they were arredy there.

An Ms. Sarah Palin thinks that her clothes are sexist the fight about what she spent on them. Ms. Sarah Palin has a pretty red leather jacket from her clothes and somebody went to help her pick out the clothes but peepols got upset when John Edwards spent too much on his hair so she's wrong it isn't sexist she spent too much money an such.

My gramma got a new sweater which she likes which she will wear when she comes to visit me soon.


Anonymous said...

What a lot of ground the Secretary covered today!

Yikes to that emergency. I'm sure Grandma would have called 911 if she needed to.

Governor Palin is a hypocrite. I bet the Secretary knows what that means.

Randal Graves said...

Apparently, the brother of McPOW took that Public Enemy song literally.

Once, my wife said a t-shirt I had on was getting a little ragged. Apparently that was sexist. I'm glad to know.

Missy said...

Somehow this reminds me of Nancy Reagan and china.

Smooches for the Secretary.

Middle Ditch said...

Very, very funny child language.

Utah Savage said...

Yer gamma wrote one really great bit of stuff, and she is brave. And and what she said about that Palin lady and such foolishness as that stuff that palin lady paid for clothes and she say she'll take them back after she wears them or give them to poor people. EEEWWWW. Gross.

FranIAm said...

This kid has got it!

Love her comprehensive point of view and clarity on the issues.

Secretary of Strawberries is the best!

Ms. Lea 李女士 said...

The Secretary of Strawberries is just plain Adorable!!

Fran said...

Too bad the secretary is having to learn what a crazy world we live in, at such a tender age.

Poor people need clothes too, but they like family wage jobs, a house to live in, and medical care even better.

susan said...

The Secretary of Strawberries sums it up neatly once again.

Please remind your gramma she might need more than one nice sweater in Chicago after Nov. 1st.

D.K. Raed said...

The Secretary of Strawberries is always up on the news! I thought this was a made-up 911 call at first. Then later today I saw the news. Wow. Of course McBro would think it's an emergency if he gets stuck in traffic. He probably wanted them to send one of Cindy's planes or a chartered helicopter to pick him up. If he ever calls 911 aksing for stawberries, I'm sure the S of S will know zactly what to tell him.

Distributorcap said...

are you raising one of those "liburals" --- ooh we have to elect Miss Moose to save the country from those nasty liburals

Missy said...

Poor people need clothes too, but they like family wage jobs, a house to live in, and medical care even better.

Wow. (touches nose)

DivaJood said...

Madame Secretary asked me to tell you all that she also likes Raspberries, and could she have an expansion in her cabinet duties. It seems she saw Sarah Palin's debate with Joe The Senator Biden and when Palin said she would expand the powers of the VP, it got Beanie thinking that she could be Sec. of Strawberries and Cream AND Raspberries.

And perhaps Bananas and Apples too.

an average patriot said...

Palin is really damaging McCain the more people see all about that Neanderthal! Funny how quickly McCain's brother dropped off the campaign and McCain distance himself from his brother that is just like him. Funny no one picked up on that!

Dianne said...

I'm shocked that McCain's brother's name is Joe. I assumed it would be Sam and he wouldn't really be a brother and in addition to disrupting emergency services he would not have paid his taxes.

Isn't that the kind of people who tour with Johnny? On the Straight to Hell Express.

I think the Secretary's duties should be expanded to all berries and their accoutrements. She has proven herself to be wise beyond her years.

Cormac Brown said...

You know that they are imploding so fast, I didn't even have time to read about Larry McPain's little traffic adventure...wait, maybe that should be a children's book?

Anonymous said...

Dear Secretary of Strawberries,
I hope gamma did not spend one penny over $2500 for that new sweater or she got ripped-off. I am just trying to say, no article of clothing I buy is over $2500 unless it is a ball gown or a fur. Help gamma stay frugal like I am unless it is other people's money!

Sarah Palin

DivaJood said...

Dear Sarah Palin,
My gramma sez that you and Mr. John McCain doesn't know how to type in a commuter, so but did someone type this for you?

Ellie Bean
Secretary of Strawberries and Cream


Dearest Pursey,

Anonymous said...

Ellen Beano,
I am trying to learn how to type on a computer and Ms. Pursey Tuttweiler, who says she is a great American and a Republican is helping me out. Ms. Tuttweiler called my campaign headquarters and said someone had carved a backwards S on her cheek and she wanted to help me out. So, I invited her to do my typing because I am a Maverick!!!!! So Miss Secretary of Berries, do you have a way to get Mr. McCain to stop belching so much when he goes on TV? Also, can you help me get some really good interviews with people who will not annoy me like Katie Carrot? Ms. Tuttweiler says you are a Maverick and a Barracuda and you can help.

If you help, I will donate some of my new clothes to you after I get to the White House and buy better clothes to be in charge of the Senate over. Yeah, you betcha!

DivaJood said...

Dear Ms. Sarah Palin
Thank you for your splanashun. But my gramma Diva Jood is runnin for Prezilnut too so we won help Mr John McCain less it to find the bafroom with Mr Larry Craig or sumsuch.

Ellie Bean

Pursey Tuttweiler said...

Well, Little Miss Mixed Berry Yogurt Administrator or whatever your title is, tell your Gammy that I am the one and only political Diva and she will never make it as Pretzel Nuts or any other higher office as long as I can gaze at Russia from my deck in Alaska. Once my eyes are to shot to see those pesky Ruskies, she can have her day in the Sun, but this is my day, Now, as far as getting John the groper into the bathroom with Larry the foot tapper, now that would be a great OCTOBER SURPRISE. So get to work fast and if you accomplish this goal I will give you my clothes and a new computer!!!!!

Sarah Palin