Wednesday, May 21, 2008

My day so far

Chapter 1:


La, di da, here I am getting ready to go to work. La, di da, I leave my house. La, di da, I close and lock the door.


CHAPTER 2:


OH, NO. I have forgotten to take my keys. I am locked out of my house, and I have no keys. No car keys. AH, but at least I have my cell phone. I will call the office. I will admit that I am going to be later than usual. Oh, NO.

Chapter 3:


Hello, office? It's me, the Diva. I have locked myself out of my condo. I have to break in. Yes, indeed. And climb through my window, which is not exactly the most graceful thing to do when you're pushing 60. I mean, really. I am not going to quit my day job to become a cat burgler.

Chapter 4:



La, di da. Here I am at work. Like nothing happened at all. La, di da.

22 comments:

Utah Savage said...

La di da, I know what you mean. I'm pushing sixty four, it's about to arrive, la di da, I'm going to pretend it isn't happening, la di da, I'm still sixty three WHICH IS BAD ENOUGH!

DivaJood said...

But Utah, when you do turn 64, we can hire Paul McCartney to sing for you...

Still, the picture of me hauling my perfect pink butt through the window was not pretty.

D.K. Raed said...

What a fun morning! You need a dog = dog door = an easier way to sneak in when you "forget" your keys. Of course, the dogs have to be smart enough to realize it's you arching your back, snaking your arm up & around to the door handle, so they won't attack.

I assume when you finally arrived at work, you were all la-di-dah, here I am, what's YOUR problem.

DivaJood said...

Ah, DK, I cannot have a dog door. You see, our condo association voted ages ago for these metal "security" doors - no dog door will work. And it was the security door that was locked. And yes, I was completely all la-di-da, what's your problem? Natural blond.

betmo said...

thank you for letting me have a chuckle at your expense (and mine as i envision myself doing that exact same thing. indeed i have on a couple of occasions) ;)

Frederick said...

I love it when something unscheduled happens without repercussions.

an average patriot said...

That was funny, good one! Can't say I've ever done that but I am sure if you have decried them in the past you were thankful for the cell. glad you didn't hurt yourself!

Utah Savage said...

Thanks for the comment on "Maggy." I hope you keep reading. I value you opinion and would appreciate editing suggestions. Writers are seldom their own best editors.

an average patriot said...

diva that was great, excellent the angle from which you told that!

DivaJood said...

Betmo, you thought this funny? I did not think so as I was climbing on the chair, hoisting my ass over the window frame.

Frederick, what made you think that my being a natural blond was unscheduled?

Patriot, I love my cell phone. It's free, and it keeps me aware of the time of day. And I just learned how to text message.

Utah, I will keep reading, as long as I don't wind up in traction from breaking and entering. La-di-fucking-da.

And Patriot, which angle would that be?

Fran said...

I did the opposite & locked myself out of the car a few times, now I carry a spare in my wallet.... I can now save myself!

Doh!

Hey I am impressed you can hurl your ass through a window.... not sure I am up to the task.

enigma4ever said...

omg...toooooo funny..ok..well..not for you...but still....hauling one's ass at any age is never...well, fun or dignified...but oh think of all the chuckles you have given all of us.....and well....your neighbors...

Larry said...

I noticed when you called your work you told them you would be later than "usual" Hope they didn't notice that.

DivaJood said...

Fran, so I guess you won't leave the call center to become a car thief. Years ago, my car was stolen, then recovered - but they'd popped the key thingy out. The cops showed me how to hotwire the car until I could get it fixed. I was good, too.

Enigma, I am so happy to be a never ending source of amusement to you...

Larry, you could probably see the steam coming from my boss's ears...

D.K. Raed said...

La-di-frickin-dah! Where have I heard that? I can hear the voice, but not place the face or place! It's a man & his voice goes up about an octave on the frick.

DivaJood said...

DK, that was the late Chris Farley who said la-di-frickin-da.

Randal Graves said...

You mean you don't keep a copy of the key underneath a flower pot like in all the good movies?

DivaJood said...

RG, I don't. I don't, because I am a natural blonde.

Agi said...

Whoa, in Chapter 3 you started turning into a George Bush look-a-like. I'm glad you've returned to your normal self.

DivaJood said...

Agi, thank you for noticing that "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" moment in Chapter 3. I really felt that it was the only image to use - I had indeed channeled Bush to have done something SO stupid.

The Future Was Yesterday said...

Do it enough times and you get used to it.

God, do I know!...:

DivaJood said...

TUA, I hope I never channel George Bush again!