Thursday, October 05, 2006

Hastert apologizes but refuses to resign

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R-IL) apologizes for his expanding head, but refuses to resign. Rep. Hastert, chins wagging, said "Ultimately, Mark Foley was an idiot to use his computer, and I'm sorry I ever allowed him to do so. But the buck stops here. I take full responsibility for not crashing his hard drive."

The House ethics committee opened an expansive investigation into the unfolding page sex scandal Thursday, approving four dozen subpoenas for witnesses and documents. Hastert, frustrated that the Democrats and ABC News refuse to take responsibility for Foley's sexual activities, said "There is no way I will resign from my post." When asked if he was among the people supoenaed, Hastert blew a raspberry at the reporter. Breaking out in a flop sweat, Hastert said "I refuse to dignify that question with a response. Where's my lawyer?"

Foley, 52, stepped down after he was confronted with sexually explicit electronic messages he had sent teenage male pages. He has since entered an alcohol rehabilitation facility at an undisclosed location. Through his lawyer, he has said he is gay but denied any sexual contact with minors. Because he has admitted he is gay, he has been stripped of his Republican credentials and told he must enter rehab to become either straight, or be forced into becoming a liberal democrat. Gays are not allowed in the Republican party. Pedophiles ARE, of course, allowed, but not homosexuals.


Helen Wheels said...

Brilliant. What a way to read between the lines/lies.

Yep. You have a talent for understanding GOP-speak.

The crime, after all, is not committing it, it's getting caught.

Tina said...

I laughed out loud at the bit about his chinS wagging! And yes Diva, you do have a knack for sifting thru their GOP bullshit... a most handy yet scary talent to have in BushWorld.

betmo said...

well done!!

DivaJood said...

Helen, isn't that always the crime? Getting caught?

Tina, it's a blessing, and a curse.

Betmo, would you believe me if I said this was a real news story? No? Didn't think so.

glenda said...

jood- There was this group in California a few years back, some old hackers, also biker dudes who called themselves the Guardian Angels or something similar, and they would hack into the computers of people who were sharing kiddie porn and infect their computers with viruses of the worst kind that destroyed thir computers and that's how I feel about these guys multiplied times 100.

Frederick said...

Really? All I heard was, "Bring me Solo and the Wookiee. They will all suffer for this outrage."

robin andrea said...

I have been amazed watching this group of pervs trying to figure out how to pin this on the Democrats. Did you watch Olbermann on Thursday night? He did one of his Special comments, and it's about Bush's unending lies, and the war on Democrats. The Republicans can't distinguish between terrorist and critics. Even the Foley affair becomes part of the war on the Deomocrats.

DivaJood said...

Glenda, let's find those guys and turn 'em loose again!

Fred, you nailed it. You've inspired me. Thanks!

Robin Andrea, I did see Olbermann last night - when he said that Bush was slandering people, I thought I want to go work for Olbermann! He is the voice we need, and more people need to hear him.

Human said...