Thursday, October 12, 2006

Roundup of Breaking News

Today I will leave it to other bloggers to talk about war, sex scandals, and nukular weapons of mass destruction. Other bloggers can disect the intricacies of Foleygate. Today, I will focus on what's on the minds of millions of Americans:
Dr. McDreamy; TomKat; and Mel Gibson's bender-banter.

McDreamy and Burke scuffle on the Set. Yes, it's true. Patrick Dempsey and Isaiah Washington got into a fight over one of the more unattractive co-stars. The two men stood nose to nose (they used Scope) before Washington stormed off to his well-appointed trailer. Washington said "Our faces are too beautiful to actually hit each other." He's well-aware of what's paying HIS bills.

And Katie Holmes, engaged to Scientologist Tom Cruise, is starting to get cold feet. I wonder why? Anyway, she got a call from Cruise's former wife, actress & Oscar-winner Nicole Kidman. Nicole urged Katie to go through with the marriage, saying "Please, get him out of my hair, already. I'm married to a sane guy now, and I just can't be bothered anymore."

Everybody's favorite anti-Semite, Mel Gibson, hasn't had a drink in 65 days. Gosh, he must be one of those recovery saints, who after a month without booze say, "I used to be an asshole, but now I'm perfect." Mel has been assigned to AA by a judge, which means he needs to go to meetings and collect OTHER people's autographs. So maybe Mark Foley and Mel can work out an arrangement?

Okay, I am just feeling nothing but relief from knowing that these important issues are covered. This way, those Red-State Voters who unleashed the monsters who currently hold office in the USA on the rest of us can have something to care about. I realize I left out Vince & Jen, and Brangelina, but I can only take so much at a sitting.

XXOO

5 comments:

robin andrea said...

I appreciate your taking the time to give us the news out of Hollywood. We never get enough of that! Those poor actors are so overlooked. LOL.

DivaJood said...

Robin Andrea, it's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Tina said...

Wha-wha-what?? Frankly I am beyond shocked. Not a word about K-Fed firing Britney's male back-up dancers? Some are saying it is sweet b/c this proves he really cares. Puh-leeze... K-Fed knows that he was able to snag Britney when he was just a male back-up dancer for Britney by day and professional baby-daddy by night. K-Fed knows who butters his bread... and he is not looking to have his Britney gravy train cut off anytime soon. Imagine how hard it would be to get child support payments out of him if he lived in a cardboard box?

pekka said...

What's up with these Holly Wood types? Anybody who's somebody is running to most exotic locations possible and coming back with a baby or two. I am just hoping, that when the spotlight is off the kids will still get xxoo's!

DivaJood said...

Tina, even serious entertainment news has to edit from time to time. K-Fed and Britney are just so last year.

Pekka, I understand that Dick Cheney is opening a new store called Adopshuns 'R Us, so that overly wealthy celebs don't have to worry about innoculations.