True Stories From My DeskYesterday, I received a call from a man: "I'm Dr. G... I want to take a luxury cruise to Bhutan."
Me: "Can you hold the line for a minute?" I placed him on hold, fell on the floor laughing. My collegues rushed to my desk -- was I having an epileptic seizure? No, just stupid client call. You see, Bhutan is a small kingdom in the Himalayas, completely landlocked, between India and China.
Me: "Thank you for waiting, Dr. G. There are no cruises that would be suitable, nothing goes to Bhutan. It is surrounded by China and India."
Dr. G: "Look, I'm an
American Express Platinum member. I am a member of
Andrew Harper's Q Club, and I'm a very busy man."
Me: "I understand. But, sir, there are no cruises that can accommodate you. I do have a guide in Bhutan who is amazing. I can arrange a trip with him."
Dr. G: "I've already contacted
Aman Resorts. Give me his name."
Me: "I don't think so. If you want me to plan and book a trip for you, I am happy to supply his name. But otherwise, not."
Dr. G: "Look I contacted you because I thought you could get me a deal. Keep me posted."
Me: "Oh, yes, absolutely. Buh-bye." Arrogant prick. I deal with a lot of luxury clients, and most of them know geography. At one point, I thought he was going to tell me to build a ship and a canal to get him to Bhutan. He wants a cruise and that's that.
People have called me to see if they can rent a car and drive from Los Angeles to Hawaii. They ask if they need to exchange money to go to Alaska, or if they speak English in Alaska.
The clients I just fired a couple of months ago were geographically challenged, and also booked their travel based upon which of their A-list friends have stayed where. I'm sure that now that Brad & Angelina have gone to Africa, the ex-clients will have to go. But she'll want to be sure that no animals harm other animals while she's there.
For a while, I worked for a company that only worked with travel agents. An agent called, upset. Her complaint? No one told her the Great Barrier Reef of Australia was under water. She said she would never have sent her clients there, because they couldn't see it. Sigh.