Monday, July 28, 2008
Serious Concerns About Campaign Ethics
While I do respect Dr. Zaius for his service to our nation, I question his attempts to influence potential cabinet positions. I had previously offered someone the position of Minister of UFOs position. I was under the impression that The Unconventional Conventionist had accepted the position, but apparently even my offer to double his salary from nothing to twice that, PLUS tossing in Minister of Appetizers and Happy Hour has not solidified his loyalties. I am, to say the least, disappointed.
And I am speaking off the cuff, because my speechwriter, Ingrid has been busy working on a decent stump speech for me. Meanwhile, I had to say something about how disgusting the sub-human Bill Kristol is.
As for this campaign, we are as much about happy underpants, chocolate, puppies, moonbeams, kittens and rainbows as the next person. Geezeloufuckingwheeze.
Oh, and Happy Birthday to Marcel Duchamp.