Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Wanted: Minister for UFOs



Them turrists use flyin saucers as weapons.

Did Rupert Murdoch buy the New York Times when I wasn't looking?

17 comments:

Randal Graves said...

Scully is unavailable. She's busy, um, identifying, um, stuff.

Border Explorer said...

[curse that Scully woman!]

Mary Ellen said...

From your link:

The American government has not investigated U.F.O. sightings since 1969, when the Air Force ended Project Blue Book, an effort to scientifically analyze all sightings to see if any posed a threat to national security.

Hell, the American government can't even secure our ports for national security, how the hell are they going to keep out unwanted UFO's? LOL! Yes Diva, we need a new minister of UFO's and we need one FAST.

I have the feeling that the increase in UFO sightings has to do with our falling dollar. They're here to shop! They can get a lot more bang for their alien buck and look at the bargains they can snag...Gucci, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Liz Claiborne, August Silk, the list is endless!

Oh, and I mentioned to okjimm that we might think about getting a minister of Indian Affairs. I'm not sure if the Indians want us poking around their affairs, but you never know....some people are into that voyeurism stuff.

I also mentioned on Sue's blog that we need to address the military dress code. It's time to get rid of those out of date khaki and green uniforms. We need an army that dresses fabulously...we need a war on fashion, not a war on terror! Although, bad fashion can be terrifying...just a thought.

Feel free to throw out any of my ideas...the VP is allowed to say stupid stuff because that's part of their job...to make the President look real smart.

DivaJood said...

Randal, well what about Dr. Lazarus?

Border Explorer, really, as an FBI agent, you would think that Scully would want to serve my administration.

Mary Ellen, I thought that Project Blue Book was intended to find the resale value of all flying saucers. The things we learn when running for office. And I suspect the shopping gambit is right on the money, so to speak. When you speak of Indian affairs, do you mean Native Americans, or India Indians? How offensive can we get with this? Really? And, always remember, I am a natural blonde.

DCup said...

Wait. You mean Murdoch doesn't already own every thing?

DivaJood said...

dcup, Murdoch does not own me, or my blog. I'm not saying I can't be purchased, if the price is right.

okjimm said...

Why not take the opportunity to give an Alien some employment? I think a Frenchman would be a good Alien for the job. They are used to Strange Americans; I think the cabinet should have an Alien as Minister of UFO's. Hey, it's just a suggestion. I don't wanna Alienate anyone.

DivaJood said...

okjimm, I think that's a great idea. Do you know any French who would like to apply for the position?

Randal Graves said...

diva, I should have known that was a link affiliated with Mr. Rickman.

I thought that Project Blue Book was intended to find the resale value of all flying saucers.

HA!

BE, I'm sorry, I've loved her since 1993! And my wife, too, I guess.

ME, you assume they WANT to secure our ports.

DivaJood said...

Randal, if you've loved Scully/Gillian Anderson since 1993, you should SURELY understand my devotion to Alan Rickman, who I have loved since 1988 (Hans Gruber, Die Hard.)

Was I mistaken about project blue book?

Blueberry said...

If you still need a minister of UFOs, I will take it!

I was born on an Air Force base in the year holding the record for sightings, I couldn't possibly be related to my parents... therefore I must be an alien.

I'm from France (wink wink).

I promise to quickly identify all UFOs as weather balloons, swamp gas, helicopters, your imagination, or the planet Venus - so that all UFOs will become IFOs. All new sightings will need to be identified and the viewers discredited. I will do a heckuva job.

DivaJood said...

Blueberry, you are hired. You, an alien from France (nudge, nudge) will be our new Minister of UFOs. I know you will do a heckuva job, Bluey. Damn straight.

Dr. Zaius said...

What about UFBLTSs (Unidentified Flying Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato Sandwiches)? I wish that I had one of those right about now...

Blueberry said...

::: picking out drapes for my new Heckuva Ministry office :::

DivaJood said...

Dr. Z, I will check with my campaign manager but I believe that when I am elected, we could appoint you as UFBLTSs - as long as you include Avocado.

Blueberry, Heckuva Job picking out drapes.

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Hiring FOREIGNERS for one of the most important cabinet positions?!?!?

Tsk, tsk.

DivaJood said...

Unconventional, as if there isn't precedent. Henry Kissassger was a foreigner. AH-nold Schwartzenegger is a foreigner. It just shows how much the Shit From Shinola Party is able to reach out and embrace others. Besides, my new MUFO has great decorating sense.