Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Sparks a-flyin!


So, yesterday I was bored out of my mind sitting calmly at my soon-to-be-ex-desk at work, and suddenly, I hear a series of small explosions. The other four women in the office screamed, and jumped up from their desks. Sparks had burst out of the ceiling - real sparks, with explosive noises - and then the really nasty smell of electrical burning.

We are unable to call 911 from our desk phones. We have one phone, in the back, that we can use to call 911 but nobody knew this until after we'd called from the nail salon next to us.

And then they arrived. The Firemen. And one firewoman, but she was not as cute as those FireMEN. Manly men. Men who climb ladders all the way to the top rung that the rest of us mere mortals are told to avoid. Men with tanks of oxygen strapped to their backs.

They poked around in the ceiling; they climbed on the roof; they sniffed, and pointed heat guns and did all the things firemen do, but could not pin a difinitive source on the sparks. We were given three things to get the management to check - and god love Management, they came out yesterday pretty promptly - and found that the old air conditioner on the roof had leaked so badly, the insulation got wet, fell, and landed on the electrical wiring. Voila: sparks.

And FIREMEN. Shiny! They are so much better looking than Policemen, and I don't know why that is.

40 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

The path that I run on near my home is right next to a firehouse, which means that running along that path are a lot of hottie paramedics and firemen. I make it a point to run behind them...it takes my mind off the pain in my bad knee. Besides, I figure if I have a heart attack, I'll have the opportunity to be resuscitated by a pro...a really hot pro! Always think ahead, that's my motto. ;-)

Randal Graves said...

Yikes! Glad you all didn't burn à la overcooked processed chicken patties.

But I see institutionalized sexism is alive and well. If I pass out due to fumes, where's my hot firebabe to resuscitate moi?

And that professionalismism is also strolling around like Frankenstein's monster. Firemen? Sexier than this?

Firemen don't have donuts!

susan said...

Firemen don't carry guns but they have very big hoses. Firemen don't have cages in the back of ugly American cars; they do have very beautiful bright red trucks and a handsome young man in a black rubber raincoat steering the back end. Firemen don't cruise the streets looking for trouble and making it; they stay at the station polishing their equipment until somebody needs them.

Spartacus said...

Damn you Randal! You beat me to it. But the fact is that firemen (at least the ones in NYC), are constantly working and working out. Also, because of the shifts they perform (48 hours straight followed by 48 off), they've become quite the culinary experts. My pal fireman Joe (now Captain Joe) makes the best whole wheat blueberry pancakes from scratch. And, according to my wife, quite easy on the eyes....

DivaJood said...

Mary Ellen, this is why you are the perfect running mate. We are both from Chicago, and we both appreciate a fine looking male hiney.

Randal, Clancy Wiggum is a whole new category of sexy. Really. He just has his own aura. Or is that stench? Whatever. And there was a firebabe - only she was very manly too. But Surfer Fireman was really hot. These guys were so durn cute, I wore a skirt to work today in case they have to come back.

Susan, I would happily volunteer to help them polish their equipment. After all, my mother told me a woman's job is to cook cook cook and clean clean clean for her man man man.

Spartacus, is Captain Joe single? I am happy to relocate from West to East coast.

betmo said...

because at this point they can't taze you? :) no wonder they get their own calendars- and they don't eat donuts ;)

DivaJood said...

Betmo, they can taze me. I'm willing. I'm wearing a fucking SKIRT, for god's sake.

Mary Ellen said...

I would gladly volunteer to help keep the fireman's long hoses in good working order. It's the least I could do... to serve my community that is.

DivaJood said...

Mary Ellen, it's so good of you to take one for the team like that.

DCup said...

Anything ever happens to MathMan - I'm calling for the fireMEN.

DivaJood said...

Dcup, they do carry oxygen and they do have those pretty durn cute paramedics as well. Be prepared, I always say.

Utah Savage said...

I dated a fireman in Santa Baarbara, and yes, they are quite the guys. Shiny hoses and good cooks. Who could ask for anything more?

Utah Savage said...

Oh, and I forgot to mention--they are fond of rescuing pussies in distress.

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, blueberry pancakes? Really? I might have to retract my previous comment.

diva, see, I like my women to be, well, womanly. Man, you chicks are as perverted as a dude. Spartacus, we're outgunned, my man.

okjimm said...

Wowsers..... Journeys with Innuendo!

DivaJood said...

Utah, I am so happy to know they like to rescue pussies in distress. Excuse me while I have a hot flash.

Randal, that is the way of the world. I like Manly Men, and Firemen in particular. And Alan Rickman. Somebody put Alan Rickman in a fireman's suit, please.

okjimm, Wowsers, indeed. We do aim to be pleased.

enigma4ever said...

omg.....
this is a very good thread...yup...

Now about your incident...I am glad you are alright...and also glad that you had someone light your fire ...sorry ..had to do it...could not help myself....

In the late 70's in Baltimore I wanted to be a Firewoman....silly me- it was not legal yet there...
but they are wonderful to hang out with- who wouldn't ......they are Great cooks...Hunks...have great sense of humors....can carry anything....have stamina...okay I will stop....but damn....

( and here I was feeling bad for watching the Amish Roofers with well, where my mind shouldn't be....sigh....)

I see them at the grocery store shopping all the time....and there I am usually in ripped scrubs, hiding the Lucky Charms and Twinkies in my basket. shrinking with embarrassment....and there they are with their Arugla and Fresh Spinach.......

great post ......made my whole day ;-)

{{{ Diva do you watch RESCUE ME??? .....great show..}}}

DivaJood said...

Enigma, I love Rescue Me. Dennis Leary used to be a fireman before he became an actor - Steve Buscemi was a fireman too, so there goes the cute theory - however, I digress. The electrician is currently working on the wires that are covered with wet insulation while we try to put people on cruise ships or stuff.

Mariamariacuchita said...

The word is out. Rollicking fun day fantasies at Jood's!!

My sister dated a fireman once. He knew the meaning of hot...and wasn't just blowing smoke.

But I digress...so glad you were (cough) rescued.

DivaJood said...

maria, having once been in a real, honest to god high-rise office fire which started next to our office, I am not about to get burned. However, that they're so nice to look at makes it even more fun.

Randal Graves said...

But Buscemi is a good actor and us ugly men applaud him for that because he gets to be in movies with attractive ladies.

Speaking of ugly things, (of a sporting variety), heh heh.

DivaJood said...

Randal, Steve Buscemi is an amazing actor, actually, and falls into the so ugly he's attractive category, like Lyle Lovett.

But you could have warned me that you were referencing Steve Bartman - I snorted iced tea out my nose.

an average patriot said...

Diva
You're funny! Glad everything was okay! There are a lot of handsome firemen but why is it soon to be your ex desk? Are you going to work at home? Take care!

Dusty said...

damn..a little explosion won't hurt no one..and cute firemen? Hell, its worth blowing the place up for that sista! ;p

Fran said...

Jood~ I'm not exactly convinced about the "story" about the the old air conditioner on the roof had leaked so badly, the insulation got wet, fell, and landed on the electrical wiring. Voila: sparks.
I'm starting to think you were a little too bored @ that desk.... & created some adventure???

Now wipe that drool off your chin.

No matches or lighters for you!

DivaJood said...

Patriot, funny? Moi? As if.

Dusty, yes, what's an explosion or two when it brings the ENTIRE FIREHOUSE to your office, eh?

Fran, really - it is one of those things that you just can't make up. Do I STILL have to clean up the drool?

okjimm said...

// one of those things that you just can't make up.//

What! Of course you would! You are running for Prezidint! Ha! It is what we have come to expect from Prezidintial Candihats!

So, please, do not insult the intelligence of an American Public that has (overall&such) shown no intelligence at ALL!

OK. Just saying. We need candy coated lies and
down-right lies and a good lie on the fairway of #4,Westhaven Country Club. It is a mean dog-leg left at about 275 yards.

Next campaign meeting at Dcups.

susan said...

Yep, those firemen show up in the middle of the night if you ring their little bell. Now there's some Homeland Security I can get behind.

Randal Graves said...

diva, concerning the drool, have you thought about a bib?

I don't apologize for the Bartman because I know there will be snarky, anti-Indians commentary in the future. You can't fool me. And you can have your firemen, I've got me college coeds. Who make me feel really old.

DivaJood said...

okjimm, you were supposed to have sipped at the Diva Kool-Aid Fountain. I do not lie, I merely tap dance. Really. Look at my picture, I'm an innocent child of two.

Susan, isn't that the best thing about firemen? And they bring their hoses, too.

Randal, that is precisely why you are the campaign manager. You have such good suggestions! And all I mentioned re: Bartman was that I needed some warning, as I made such a mess with my iced tea. Warning.

D.K. Raed said...

personal fireman experience: found a Humongous Snake in my garage a few yrs ago. Fire Dept to the rescue! Big truck pulls up in the driveway, bunch of hunks spill out to "assess the situation". Hidden by their muscles was a little guy, kind of Richard Dreyfuss looking, with a snake hook & a bag. Yessss ... all those big hunks stood waaay back when the snake was located & let little Dreyfuss do the dangerous work. so who is the REAL hero?

personally, Randal, I prefer Steve Buscemi to the Ben Affleck or Matt Daman types. ANY DAY!

Fran said...

Yep, still gotta wipe the drool.
I still have my doubts about the innocence of this incident.
I won't be surprised if additional calls to the shiny men in the big red truck are made.
**thought** you smelled smoke.
feeling faint....
overcome by muscle men, I mean heat stroke.

Bah! Why am I giving YOU ideas???

I'm guessing this will now be a part of your campaign platform---

And as president, I promise to have larger, full color glossy shiny, firemen calendars.

You are taking homeland security in a whole 'nuther direction. What next- pole inspections?

Thats fire poles at the station-- get your mind out of the gutter!

FranIAm said...

I had to work yesterday so late to the fireparty!

Well one never wants fire, but one almost always wants fireMen!

Spartacus said...

Sorry DJ... Joe has a best gal. But I can get you on the waiting list.

DivaJood said...

DK, hmm, you have a thing for snake handlers, eh? Kinky.

Fran, oh, good ideas! Oh, pole inspections. Oh, firemen calenders! SHINY!

FranIAm, there was one fireman who wore dressy pants, not the fire overealls, and he didn't say anything, and he just wandered around like the boss. He finally pointed a heat gun at what they thought was the source. It wasn't.

Spartacus, is that a waiting list for firemen?

Stella said...

Have Fun, divajood!

Madam Z said...

divajood, I just discovered your entertaining blog, thanks to your comment on Utah Savage's post. I have added you to my very select list of "favorites."

I agree with you about FireMEN! I have been in love with them since I was 15, living next door to a fire station.

And stella, thanks for that firemen link! I feel several years younger after perusing it.

DivaJood said...

Stella, stella, that was really fun! I love the guy with the really big piece of equipment. You know the one.

Madame Z, thank you - will link you as well. I am so glad you've joined the campaign!

Bubs said...

Why are firemen better looking than cops?

They're in better physical condition because they get to work out on duty.

They eat better because they get to cook their own meals in a full kitchen in the firehouse.

They get more sleep than cops, since they get to sleep on duty.

And they don't have to write people tickets, or tell people to do stuff they don't want to do. Cops are like parents for grownups, and if you've ever marveled at how being a parent has aged you, well, there you go.

DivaJood said...

Ah, but Bubs, today I was pulled over by a CHPs officer on a motor cycle. It seems my vehicle tags are expired, but I never got a notice in the mail. So, he wrote me a "fix this" ticket, and all that. Wait, I digress. Mr. Officer CHPs was gorgeous. I mean, he was fit, handsome, as nice as could be, gorgeous, helpful, and adoreable. So I have revised my opinion. SOME Firemen are better looking than SOME Police.