Friday, December 22, 2006

Christmas Carols for the Disturbed

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and.....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...

14 comments:

Lola Heatherton said...

Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me was one of my biggest hits, on my favorite Christmas album.

Anonymous said...

Very funny!

How about:

Anxiety: Hark the Harried Angels Sing

Anonymous said...

oh...my...gosh. This is so funny!
I hope you don't mind if I add two I just thought of:

Racist: I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

Depressed: In the Bleak Midwinter

DivaJood said...

Oh, gooding, EVERYONE is carolling! Hot chocolate for all.

meldonna said...

Maybe one from a few years back?

Deck the New Kids On The Block

Anonymous said...

Dysfunctional family-- "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, and it wasn't Daddy."

Anonymous said...

i am shamelessly stealing this and sending it to my father-in-law! he loves these kinds of things.

Tina said...

Republican pedophile carol:
"Deck the halls w/ boys and pages"

... or the timeless GOP pervert classic:
"O tan his bum, O tan his bum"

pekka said...

Hey, I think I have found my long lost Christmas spirit...a bottle of Johnnie Walker!

DivaJood said...

You are all such amazing singers!

Weeta, that's sort of what the parking lot at work was like today.

Tree, you made me spew tea with the Racist one. I will NEVER be able to hear that song the same way again, hilarious.

Mel, I wonder what Dave Foley would say about that?

Robin Andrea, you have a warped mind. That must be why I like you.

Betmo, steal away. I know I do it!

Tina, I love it, the two Rethuglican chestnuts - made me laugh out loud.

Pekka, dive in. Spike the Cocoa.

Lew Scannon said...

Liquid Snow! Liquid Snow! Liquid Snow!
We drive around on our fat asses
Emitting greenhouse gasses
That don't have nowhere to go
Liquid Snow! Liquid Snow! Liquid Snow!

The glaciers are slowly dying
And the tundra's started frying
The rivers all overflow
Liquid snow! Liquid snow! Liquid snow!

sumo said...

Diva...that was really good...Lew such charm I have never heard.

Frederick said...

On the first day of X-mas my true love gave to me, A Democratic Majority!

karena said...

My, oh my, I could never chime in on this, I loved them one and all. I like Paranoid from your list, Diva. I snorted when I read that one, Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

The one's the readers came up with are too funny!

Okay, here's The Menopause Song: Chestnuts Roasting on Me, I Perspire,
Sweat beads dripping from my nose,
.......