Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Morning News Roundup
When Vice President Dick Cheney learned he would be asked to testify in Lewis "Scooter" Libby's trial, Cheney immediately invited his former Chief of Staff to go hunting with him. Libby is shown here recovering from being shot in the ass by the Vice President, and the Vice President is saying "I don't know, the gun must have slipped.
Libby was indicted in October 2005, and immediately resigned his post, all over those silly and insignificant charges that "he lied to a grand jury about his conversations with reporters about CIA operative Valerie Plame. White House critics have said that the leak was part of a campaign to undermine her husband, former envoy Joseph C. Wilson IV, who had accused the administration in a newspaper opinion piece of misleading the public on the case for war in Iraq."
Libby, of course, had more important things on his mind, like Turism and the war in Eye-Rack, and told NPR reporter Libby "Turtle" Lewis that any misstatements were simply the wanderings of an overworked public servant. Libby (Scooter) and his lawyers hope that Cheney's testimony will buttress that claim by pointing out the close working relationship between the Veep and his former lackey.
Attorney for Scooter Bill Jeffress said he's certain the Veep will cooperate, because "Resistance is futile." Lea Anne McBride, the vice president's press secretary, said Cheney would testify, if called. "We've cooperated fully in this matter and will continue to do so." She declined to comment further, walking off the podium swearing under her breath. She was heard to say "I should have taken a job at Macy's."
In other news, the Cobb County Board of Education agreed never to place stickers in high school biology textbooks that say "evolution is a theory, not a fact." After a four year battle to avoid hiring teachers who actually KNOW something, the Cobb County Board just threw in the towel.
"Evolution has long been controversial in Cobb County, north of Atlanta, where some biology teachers used to tear pages out of textbooks to avoid discussing it. In 2002, after more than 2,000 parents objected to sections on evolution in a new biology textbook, stickers were placed on the inside of the front cover."
Now, with the settlement, those teachers will actually have to learn something rather than be outdistanced by their students. Furthermore, the past six years of the Bush Administration has completely disproved the idea of "Intelligent Design."
Don't forget to send your photos for this Saturday's "Good Planets" Gallery to me at jkblue AT cox DOT net.