Monday, December 18, 2006

Look out, Victoria's Secret. The AFA is on the J.O.B.

Michiganders, you can rest easy, because The American Family Association is on the J.O.B. against Victoria's Secret stores. Concerned Citizens in Green Oak Township, Michigan, have had a vigourous letter writing campaign protesting scantily-clad mannequins.

Their goal is to have Victoria's Secret show "morally neutral" products, such as shotguns, deer rifles and military gear rather than those dangerously sexually provocative items like bras, g-strings or fuzzy stiletto heels.

I'm so relieved.

15 comments:

Peacechick Mary said...

Yes, I think some stickers of the baby Jesus, a few American flags and some yellow Support The troop items attached to the crotch area would be an excellent and refreshing change.

Frederick said...

How about some crotchless American flag panties? Would that fix everything?

The Fat Lady Sings said...

Uh oh! My best friend will lose her mind if there's no Victoria's secret! She buys all of her underthings there - all of 'em! So do millions of women. These yahoos are gonna have an uprising on their hands if they try and shut that store down. Women will riot whilst wearing stilettos and angel wings. :)

Sigrid Jardin said...

I have a great bumper sticker - Focus on Your Own Damn Family. Maybe we could get one that says something like Focus on Your Own Damn Crotch. No, that's not what Victoria's Secret wants either. Maybe a garter belt with holsters on the hips, done in a little camoflage material.....just to make the good old boys feel right at home.

pekka said...

I have to respectfully disagree with the preveiling notion here that Victoria's Secret Stores are harmless. It makes me shudder to even think that one of those catalogues would find it's way to hands of the fighting men in Iraq and turn their attention away from the noble task of killing to...dare I say it - Sex.

DivaJood said...

PCMary, how about just cutting up Support Our Troops ribbons and using them as panties?

Frederick, you're killing me - but I think that becomes a visual oxymoron.

TFLS, I have traded my angel wings for some F... Me Pumps to parade around at AFA gatherings. I'm just saying.

Sigrid, I want that bumper sticker.

Pekka, oh, my god, the horror!

Donnie McDaniel said...

Oh hell!! Maybe if they just stick a bible in the hands, they will just go away!

Kvatch said...

I'm with Fred. I want to see some scantily clad deer-hunters...cammo bikinis, fishnet hunting vests...

pissed off patricia said...

Okay we gotta come up with a hobby for these folks. They have too much time on their hands so they have to poke around for something to do. Now they want to put hunting caps on mannequins wearing tiny cute little undies? Somebody please teach these folks to do something useful for their fellow man. Perhaps they would like to sign up and head out for Iraq. They could see lots of guns and such there.

Alicia said...

The words 'Concerned Citizens' right away are a tipoff - code phrase for 'getting all up in y'all's business'...

Pursey Tuttweiler said...

That is beyond absurd. These folks sure can get all a dither about nothing. How about writing some big ass letters to the government to house the homeless or feed the poor? No, they are too worried about some plastic mannequin with distorted body parts wearing fuzzy panties.

Alicia, I just read your code word and hocked up something! Too freakin' funny.

I just read the rest of the comments and started hyperventilating. Calling Jon Stewart, calling Jon Stewart, there's some great talent over here!

DivaJood said...

Donnie, I think they may have bibbles (bubbles, baubles) stuck in places other than their hands.

Kvatch, go over to The Gay Agenda and alert Lola and Pursey. They would probably be happy to oblige.

Patricia, have you ever noticed that when these folks try to smile, it looks like their faces might break?

Alicia, thank god you de-codified that for me, because, well, just because! They clearly don't have their poop in a group.

Pursey, don't hyperventilate. Get yourself a brown paper bag, take out the bottle, breathe.

Alicia said...

"Poop in a group" - you're killing me, Dive!

Pursey Tuttweiler said...

Diva,

I went and got the brown bag before I read the rest of your instructions. Then I read the part about taking out the bottle and I did and I drank it all. Now I am on about the breathing business. What next? Do I just sit here and wait?

DivaJood said...

Alicia, that's not an original quote. I blatantly stole it, and I forget who from.

Pursey, I don't know what's next. I'm confused.