Thursday, December 07, 2006

Farts spark emergency landing

An American Airlines flight made an emergency landing this week after a passenger with severe gas problems struck matches to mask the odor of flatulence, an official said.

The flight from Washington to Texas landed at Nashville airport on Tuesday, in the southeastern state of Tennessee, after passengers alerted the crew about the smell of burning sulfur, Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority said.

She said all 99 passengers and their luggage were taken off the plane and searched, and an unlucky canine team was brought in to sniff the aircraft for explosives.

After intense questioning by the FBI, a woman passenger admitted to lighting matches on board the aircraft to conceal her gas, Lowrance said.

"For a long time she did not admit to striking matches and I think that was just out of embarrassment," she said. "She did finally admit to it saying she had a medical problem about excessive gas."

The unidentified woman was not charged but "American did ban her from flying on their airline for a very long time," Lowrance said.


robin andrea said...

How embarrassing for that woman. What a terrible situation and a rather bizarre notion of how to "fix" it.

Peacechick Mary said...

That poor lady. Taught to be clean and sweet at all costs. Might be a funnys story to tell her friends, tho. Friends like that are gold.

Comandante Agí said...

This lady never heard of Beano? She's lucky DHS didn't charge her with attempted chemical warfare--after all methane is flammable enough to light the entire plane on fire.

DivaJood said...

Robin Andrea, I dunno, it might be better than lighting a candle, or spraying some overly fruity air freshener.

Peacechick Mary, they never indicate if she has a sense of humor. Could be she just drives off a cliff. Or changes her name. I wonder if TSA is going to put her on a no-fly list?

Spiro, does Beano actually WORK? I'm just asking.

Comandante Agí said...

Spiro, does Beano actually WORK? I'm just asking.

Not sure. I might have to conduct an experiment. You think broccoli califlower and black bean burritos would be a good test case?

sumo said...

I feel so sorry for her...the embarrassment must have been horrendous!

Pursey Tuttweiler said...

I am having a hard time believing this story, something is rotten in Denmark. Why in the world would the poor woman think that lighting matches would cover up her farts? If this is true, I have great pity for her.

DivaJood said...

Spiro, and I hope you don't mind me calling you that, Spiro, I think that would be a really excellent test case.

Sumo, which part? The flatulence, or the lighting of matches?

Pursey, thank you for visiting! I suspect that she thought that since she didn't have a candle, nor an aersol spray, nor airwick, that perhaps matches would do. And the rotten thing in Denmark is limburger cheese, n'est ce pas?

Lola Heatherton said...

Oh, my god, I cannot believe that this made the papers. They promised me it would not hit, at least not while I was alive. I have to fly on other carriers now.

betmo said...

lighting matches burns off the methane- my friend used to do that after she used our facilities when she lived with us. it does work- but i cannot fathom why she thought she should do that on a plane these days. take the chance.

Pursey Tuttweiler said...

Is the Limberger cheese what Lucille ball shoved up her tuba when travelling from Europe, or is that what she wrapped up in a blankie and pretended it was a baby? I cannot remember, so I must go rent all the past episodes of I Love Lucy.

DivaJood said...

Lola, get over yourself.

Betmo, she reminds me of the time I was flying from Sydney to Christchurch on Air New Zealand. A big strapping soccer player went into the bathroom, lit up a cigarette, set off the smoke alarm and spent the remainder of the flight strapped in his seat with handcuffs. He was the first person off the plane, escorted by several police. Oops. We all just laughed and laughed. This was in 1998, pre- 9/11 but still.

Pursey, I don't know. Ask Lola, she's quite well versed in Lucy's shenanigans.